You give someone a chance, and if the mistake keeps happening then you know , things will never change.
In my heart I want something. In my heart I hope that things will get better. I hold on to the good things, and the good times, and try so hard to forget the bad things and the bad times.
In my mind knowing that really, it is just not worth it, because I am living in some fantasy world.
People tell me why do I carry on, Why am I still hurting myself by holding on to someone that isn't living up to it, but how can they say this to me. Going through specific moments with a specific person, allows you to move closer to them. I wish it wasn't the case.
Everyone else see's a different person, his friends and people he meets see this perfect, amazing , friendly side to him, yet I have to put up with 2nd best , and hurtful words, and arguments... I don't want that yet I seem to push the bad points away.
I keep giving him a chance , a chance to make me smile again, but my eyes end up full of tears once again. I really can't stand the pain, the aches, the sleepless nights or the tears any more.
I know once I am strong enough to stand up to this, I will not be giving anyone a chance in the future.
My lesson I have learnt is that, once someone makes the mistake once, he/she will always make that mistake.
Have you ever been split between someone's opinion you care about, and your own... Arr so difficult...
So I've been up all night thinking about this. What really is the right thing to do...
So lets not give the story totally away. A friend of mine did something I do not agree with, then got in trouble for it although they were not 100% in the wrong, their intentions were understandable and right. Now although this is the case its all fine and dandy to sit and say I support you, I am there for you, which I have been doing, but when it comes down to it , I had to stay no for literally standing their supporting them by there side...
Why??
Because I just don't agree with the people who are pushing these friends of mine to do the wrong thing. These adults while they are sitting comfortably in their homes on their backsides, drinking the most expensive drinks, and eating the most expensive foods, watching the sky +HD/3D stuff, they are playing with these peoples heads and sending them off to do things that quite frankly isn't logical at all. While they have got other people to do their dirty works for them they are just sitting their insulting and criticising. Oh if I could get my hands around them , I would force them to apologise to every single person they have insulted , criticised etc... I really don't see them doing a proper job... And because this is the case I do not want to be standing behind my friend fighting for something these adults have put in to their minds...
I guess when it really comes down to it, inside you have no choice but to be their... To show them you care, to let them know yes I do not agree but I am their for you.... That's what real friends do...
My heart is split between two and I am going against one of the halves, just because I care...
Yes this has been a very big decision. lets just hope when I need them to stand behind me for something, they will be their for me too...
How many people have you used the "I love you" sentence to?
Do you think after using it to more than one person it has lost all meaning to it?
Love has become so overrated. We hear about it all the time, movies, songs, programmes, school. Every where we go we hear about this, what's meant to be a wonderful thing called "Love".
So if this is the case, then the world should be hearts, flowers, and white doves everywhere we go, but that doesn't seem to be the case. The word love is thrown around so easily that when we do seem to fall in love, we don't know how to prove that it really is love.
I've thought about why this might be the case. It's a difficult one. My mother use to tell me that listening to these loves songs ruins our feelings, the singers and celebrities are telling us how to feel. By the end of all this our emotions are dead to actually feel anything real. Its all fairy tales.
I do believe that is partially true. We seem to have in our mind love is all about, hugs and kisses, going out for romantic nights out, but we seem to forget that being in love, or being in a relationship is so much more than just that.
Have we forgotten the strain of everyday life is always put on the person closest to us i.e. our loved one... But when our husbands/boyfriends/wife's/girlfriends do put that strain on the other one, arguments occur.
We look around for real love stories, to feed the hunger of what the 21st century has been about , "sex, boys/girls and love to some extent", but cannot seem to find ones that are easily adapted to the reality. There isn't always a happy ending. Apart from one REAL LOVE story that we seem to always forget about... The relationship between Khadija and Muhammed (pbuthem).
Although the age difference was a great 15 years apart, Khadija being older, that did not stop them from falling in love with one another and did not stop Muhammed (pbuh) to prove what an honourable man and husband he would be for Khadija. When he needed someone the most, His beautiful wife was there for him. Not to say a word but to hold him and comfort him. When the prophet Muhammed was exiled from his home land , Khadija dropped everything for him and travelled away with him...Sadly Khadija had passed away, and although Muhammed (pbuh) remarried it was well known that his only true love was Khadija, he did not just throw the word around, although his wives after were jealous of Khadija, he did not treat them any differently apart from the honest fact that he was only in love with one. I guess this is where the saying comes from "True love never dies"
That is the love story we should look up. Try to be the wife , Khadija once was , and the Husband Muhammed once was...
So when do we know if "he really does love us"...? I guess that's a test within it self. I guess you will only know after 5 years of marriage... (if that)
I suppose this is a post to warn vulnerable girls and boys to be cautious of when someone says "I love you".
Many have said it, and many have not meant it... Many use words to their advantage.
I am not hating on Love... Never that. I'm a big believer in Love, a big believer in true Love. In some ways even Love at first sight, but I am a hater on the ones who use "love" in ways we shouldn't be, sometimes to even just "get in to their pants". Just to hurt others.
Lets look at Khadija and Muhammed as our main role models when looking for husband/wife or even in a relationship... I wish you all bliss and happiness with in your life.
Why do we believe we have the right to judge others for their wrongs....
The Hijab does not define who we are now a days, its what we are and what we do, that define us... Being a Muslimah born and raised in England , my family spent their time and energy explaining to me the difference between the western culture, and my own culture. Although I am very much against the western culture, for me personally, I cannot personally wipe away all my western cultural aspects in my life...
But what makes us believe we can judge people for their mistakes we are not perfect ourselves... Isn't that a sin in its self. Are we not meant to cover our sins, and not to expose our brothers/sisters sins. Prophet Muhammed had said "he who covers a Muslim (meaning his mistakes and shortcomings), Allah will cover him in the Dunya and the Hereafter …” .
So why must we disobey this, very simple and easy sunnah...
As a Muslim girl, I had spent my life being judged upon my mistakes and my good deeds ignored. Should it not be the other way round.
Recently a colleague of mine (a new colleague of mine) chose to judge me before knowing me. It had been said I was giving a terrible representation of Islam. But how can this be. I am not perfect, not even close, but one thing is for sure, I choose to show the peaceful side of my religion. Allowing people to know all this propaganda that the media has displayed since year 2000 , is false accusations and Islam is a beautiful religion. Although I have revealed how beautiful this religion is too non-Muslim friends (who were atheist and christains and now believe in the word of allah), people choose to hold on to the not so great things. Do as I say , Not as I do... I am not Khadija (pbuher) , and I am most definitely not the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh), but inshallah I will be a role model to my kids and friends and family one day as Khadija once was.
I am most certainly not condoning acts I have done, (which not as bad as they sound by the way) but life is a live-learn experience. We commit mistakes and sins, but we learn from them. Whoever has a strong iman in their hearts ,will feel guilty straight away. When I back-bite, depression gets the better of me, so why should we carry on back-biting when it does no good for us, not in this life time and not in the hereafter. When I disobey my parents , im over whelm by a terrible sense of guilt, so why carry on , and allowing us to spend our days feeling guilty... As I had mentioned , live-learn experience.
A school tutor had once said to me, if you point a finger at someone, another three fingers are pointing back at you... Try and advise your fellow brothers and sisters, but try to look at your sins first and make them better, before judging someone else...
I have openly admitted that I have sinned in my life (once again not big sins but nevertheless sinned, whether it may be back biting or even disobeying adults etc) but that does not make me a bad person. Just as you who have sinned does not make you a bad person. Your actions are between you and Allah... Allah knows situations, knows what is in your heart and knows what is on your mind, he can only judge.
Now this person who had judged me , did not judge me on facts , this person had judged me under her own suspicion , which is even worse.
Some people fall into the habit of judging others by their sins while forgetting their own. They may not even think the sins they’ve committed are all that bad. This is a sign of weak Muslim.
"A believer sees his sins as if he were sitting under a mountain which he is afraid may fall on him, whereas the wicked person considers his sins as flies passing over his nose and he just drives them away like this"
Related in Bukhari Islam ordered us to be just and fair in judging between people, and not to hurt or offend any one. Even animals, we mustn't hurt or kill them except if they became dangerous or harmful. There is a story says that there was a religious woman who prisoned a cat till death, so went to hell, and another bad (did many sins) woman who saved another cat from death so she enter paradise. Mercy is very important in our religion.
So what can I personally take from this... People will judge wherever you go... It is an unfortunate illness that many have, and we must stand up with our head held high, knowing that although you have made mistakes , or have not made mistake , we must believe in ourselves and iman, that Allah is by our side and he forgives all as we repent . I have repented, but that is between me and Allah...
Islam is Love, Respect, treating one another as we ourselves wish to be treated. We must carry this through as an example to one another. This is how many have reverted to Islam, as they see the Love for one another.
Khadija (pbuher) is my role model. Libyan culture is my 2nd love (after Islam, inc. Allah (swt) , Muhammed(pbuh) Quran al kareem) , and that will never change. :-)
"Allah yesmaaa7ni , w yesaaama7 al Muslimeeen kolhom" "ya Rab help us to cover our brothers and sisters sins" " Ya Allah lead us to the right path and to show others the right path"
I have been blessed with many opportunities while living in the UK. Many opportunities that we all take for granted, as did I for many years.
Receiving a free education from nursery to year 11 , is one of the most amazing opportunities that every child is entitled to here in Britain. Oh how I wish I concentrated more in school. I never understood the true meaning of education, till today... Something children around the world are not able to have. Yes, I hated teachers, and hated school, and used every single excuse in the book to stay away from school, (which did work most of the time)but when you think back, how amazing was our education system... (compared to other countries).
NHS... unlike countries such as the USA we have a great national health service. Yes okay not an "amazing" NHS service as their are many who still complain, but we are able to get free service when needed, whether its a cold, hernia, or even cancer.
Transporrrrrrrrrrt! oh how I love public transport. Prices of bus fares, and train fares may be going up , but the fact we are able to travel around the London for reasonable prices, so easily, is just a exceptional service, that we do take advantage of.
Above all that UK helps people who are in terrible situations, such as allowing people to apply for benefits when they are "poorer" than others. Benefits such as EMA (good for me , not good for the newly sixth-formers, as it was dropped after I had finished college) , student finance to allow people the extra special years in university , for people to pursue their dreams, income support, housing benefits, etc.
I may complain about 101 things that's wrong about the country, but Alhumduallah I am happy I was brought up and born in this country to receive amazing opportunities that can benefit me, and also help me benefit others with my knowledge, that Britain has taught me.
so that's my thank-you to Britain , dont expect me to admit it again ;)
How do we justify the death of Mummar al Gaddafi. I have spent the past two days hearing , the pros and cons about Mummar al Gaddafi's death, but how can we possibly have the right to say this, if we do not and have not lived in Libya and lived the pain these freedom fighters felt.
Gaddafi killed many, and gave orders to kill many... Sharia law commands us that the penalty of "murder" is the death penalty... Gaddafi gave orders and had raped many women, which is also known as zina in Islam... Sharia law explains to us that the penalty of "zina" is being slashed 100 times. (whipped) Verses 24-2,3 says: "The woman and the man guilty of fornication flog each of them with 100 stripes." Gaddafi often questioned Islam,(his religion) and questioned that the prophet Muhammed (pbuh) was the last prophet and also called himself "king of kings" which is another word for God... This is also known as Apostasy... apostasy is identified by a list of actions such as conversion to another religion, denying the existence of God, rejecting the prophets, mocking God or the prophets, idol worship, rejecting the sharia, or permitting behavior that is forbidden by the Sharia, such as adultery. Sharia law has different punishments for this , but one of the main punishments "Execution"
Now Libya has been handed over to the NTC, which has meant that our country is run according to , and by Sharia law as it is a Muslim country. So his punishment was death. Now that has been explained in the Islamic side of the story....
Now for the Human race. Basic Human nature side of the story... These men have had their sons, fathers, brothers, uncles, nephews and friends shot, or tortured or killed. Some right before their eyes. Daughters, sisters, aunties, wives, fiancées, raped, killed , and shot. How do we justify this to these freedom fighters. How can we possibly feel what they have felt... Some for 42 years, thousands during these last nine months. The anger, and hurt, and pain they had felt but stayed strong for all these months of fighting , for the religion, for their freedom , for their children's future. So when they find the man who is responsible for all that pain in their lives and loss in their lives, they just cannot control themselves.
After all this, it is not only the Libyans who have felt the suffering from or by Gaddafi. Scotish families are devasted having their families being killed in the PAN AM Flight 103 during 1988, which had killed 35 students on the flight. This was a command from Gaddafi.
Also the family and friends of Yvonne Fletcher, during 1984 protests against Gaddafi. Gun shots, shot from the Libyan embassy by Gaddafi loyalist, who obviously assumed that it would be okay for them to harm or kill people as they had Gaddafi's money by their side to protect them from getting caught. So how can we possibly feel the pain these families had gone through, whether Libyan or not...
Although this argues why it was right for Gaddafi's death... How do we justify why it was wrong?
I have heard such arguments as "it was an inhuman way of death", "we first see him alive then dead" , "he's an old man he should have not been beaten"...
Now gun shots were not all caused by the freedom fighters as his loyalists had shot at him , as they wanted him to die before the freedom got a hold of him , to go ahead with public humiliation, BUT at the same time as any human they see him as an older man who has lost his mind and when he begged to be left alone, any humans natural reaction is to feel sorry for Gaddafi.
We should not let the last moment of his life create a belief that he did not deserve what he had got after all the humiliation, and pain he has caused for any of the men of our country.
Now after all this I can not seem to find a reason to why he did not deserve this.
After nine months of protesting , fighting, and crying, finally we can relax and be happy.
Mumaar al Gaddafi ruled Libya for 42 years. He ruled it by allowing the people of Libya to live in fear. Afraid to raise their voices or to say no to anyone just because of they may know, or be someone very important. Gaddafi did not allow freedom of speech or democracy of any kind in to the country. One of the well known massacres which has been investigated into is the Abu sleem massacre that occurred in 1996, where an estimate of 1,270 prisoners were killed. (disgusting!!)...
Gaddafi had a circle of murderers among him including Musa Kusa, The ex foreign minster of Libya, Muttasim al Gaddafi, Mummar al Gaddafi son, Seif al Islam, Also a son of Mummar, Saadi al Gaddafi , another son of Mummar, khaled al Khuweldi, Abduallah Sinnusi and many more. These are just a few of the people in the highest positions in Libya who controlled many people and many killings.
February 17th was the start of the revolution in Libya. The Libyans had hope , had faith that they could also defeat this horrendous dictator such as Tunisia had done to Ben ali, and the Egyptians had done to Mubarak. We all knew it wouldn't be easy but we succeeded after over 30 thousand people had been killed(May their souls rest in peace) , many women raped and tortured, people being captured and tortured (beaten repeatedly ridiculously in the most inhuman way), and now we see the joy in every single Libyans eyes. Alhumduallah. Allahu Akbar. From Benghazi, to Tubroq, to Misrata and Zawiya, Jadu , and Tripoli then to sirte and sabha, and benwalid FINALLY ALL FREE after all the freedom fighters had worked so hard and been through so much.
Finally after all of these massacres, Murders, hangings, and beatings, Libyans can finally start to live their lives.
Gaddafi's capture and death remarked an amazing sense of relief for the Libyan people, that they can finally not be scared of who may be after them. Celebrating for days now since the 20th October, and ending the night tonight with the London Libyan embassy creating an amazing atmosphere with injured freedom fighters attending , and every Libyan singing and clapping, and laughing with joy.
This is the joy in London, can you really imagine how beautiful it is in Libya right now!
I can finally carry on with my life and not have my education affected by the revolution as it has done for the past nine months.
To end this, Happy Liberation day to all my brothers and sisters around the world. This has shown us aslong as we have Allah (swt) by our sides we have nothing to fear. We win or we die...
